If the title of this blog post may shock you a bit, you are probably just like millions of people who have been raised to always put everyone else first. Perhaps it was your religious upbringing, or just a general belief that you should always sacrifice your needs and desires for the sake of others. Children, spouses, parents, friends and even the family dog get your love and attention long before you ever give any to yourself. Right?
And, like many adults, especially women but even many men, you have bought into the myth that by putting everyone else’s needs above your own…you are being the best possible person you can be – after all, isn’t always putting others first the epitome of unselfishness? Well….not really….
Think about it for a minute….actually, think about your personal bank account instead and then this will probably make much more sense! Let’s say you have $50,000 in the bank today. Now, that may sound like a decent sum of money, but let’s say that you take out $5,000 a week every week for awhile. AND, you don’t make any deposits. In 10 short weeks (or about 2 and a half months) all that money will be gone. And if you try to take out any more, your bank will kindly let you know that you are overdrawn…and you don’t want that!
Now, back to you. If all you do is give and give and give to everyone else (akin to those $5000 a week withdrawals) and you don’t ever give to yourself (i.e., make deposits into your “account”), you will soon be overdrawn. Sadly, many women today live their life in a constant state of depletion, just like that empty bank account after 10 weeks. Do not give your personal power away.
The only way to have anything to give to others is to be sure to give to yourself. You can’t truly give from a state of depletion….or exhaustion. Taking time for yourself not only ensures that you will have more energy to give to the needs of those you love, but also will help you stay healthier so that you’ll still be around for them years from now. It may seem noble to use time that could be spent at the gym with your children instead, but if you live 5 or 10 years less as a result, is that really to their benefit?
The most unselfish thing you can do is to put yourself first so that you have the most to give others. Taking time for yourself to exercise, relax, get sufficient sleep and do things which truly nurture your own soul will keep you vibrant and healthy and energetic. In turn you will have far more to give everyone else than you could possible have by remaining constantly depleted.
Take time today to consider whether you are making yourself enough of a priority. Have the confidence to put yourself first. It is never too late to start! Become a little more selfish and you will find, over time, that doing so was actually one of the most unselfish things you’ve ever done!
How will you begin to put yourself first?
