Why is that some of the most talented, generous, good-hearted people are also their own harshest critics?
Does this sound familiar to you? Are you often judging and criticizing yourself for things you could be doing better, times you fell short of your goals, times you felt disappointed or distracted or disengaged? Do you feel guilty about the times you lost your temper withyour child, or the times you lost your composure at work? Do you feel a constant voice inyour mind, reminding you of how you’ve fallen short of your potential?
It’s time to let go of this critical voice.
If you want to claim your personal power, if you want to be the best person you can be, you need to give yourself a break! It’s good to have high standards for yourself, it’s good to have goals, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves (and for our children, families, friends and careers) is to relax and be more gentle with ourselves.
Try to treat yourself with the voice of a caring mentor. Think about it: if you were mentoring a younger colleague, or talking with a younger family member about their life goals and dreams, would you use as harsh and unforgiving of a voice as the one in your own head? Of course not!
So be gentle and generous with yourself as well.
No one is perfect. We all have times where we fall down on the job or lose control of our emotions or disappoint others (or ourselves) in some way. But if you look at the whole picture of who you are and what your life is about, I think you’ll agree that the critical voice, the voice of harsh judgments and dire consequences, is not the voice that you should be listening to.
You can’t feel powerful if you’re constantly looking over your own shoulder and feeling fearful of self-criticism. Instead of being “your own worst critic,” can you be “your own biggest fan?” Instead of allowing the voice of self-criticism to rule your life, channel your thoughts in a more positive direction. Remind yourself of everything that you do well. Savor victories. Celebrate successes. Hold your loved ones close. And try to speak to yourself in the same voice that you would expect from a caring, supportive mentor.
Would you agree that you are often “your own worst critic?” How do you quiet the voice of self-criticism and find ways to encourage yourself instead?
